Easter long weekend

I hope everyone had a fantastic Easter long weekend, however and wherever you spent it.  I am grateful that Orthodox Easter isn't for another few weeks, as we only came home from hospital on Thursday and the long weekend at home was just what we needed to settle in without a big holiday to celebrate as well.

That's not to say that a little chocolate wasn't enjoyed.  Little A loves her Kinder chocolate, just like mum and dad even though she maybe waiting a while to have a try.

I spent 9 months hating on sugar and chocolate, as it was the only thing that made me feel sick but my appetite for all things sweet as returned with a mighty bang.

My hospital stay was amazing, so much so that I refused the offer to spend the last two nights at the Hyatt.  I loved the attention and invaluable advise offered by the midwives.  I am the sort of person who needed the help with my confidence and abilities and they were excellent in teaching me and reassuring me that I was doing a great job.  And the delicious meals were a bonus too.  That's the sticky date pudding I had for my lunch dessert every day... yum!

A big thank you to all my virtual and "real life" friends who have sent us their well wishes, cards and very generous gifts.. who have come to visit and bought us meals.  We are eternally grateful for having you in our lives.

Sibling nap time

So far, I am finding it a lot more manageable than I thought I would.  I made a conscious effort whilst pregnant not to set any expectations for myself for what motherhood and pregnancy should look like.  I am the queen of overplanning and overanalysing and I didn't want to set myself up for any disappointments.  No baby is  perfect or entirely comparable to another, so I have made an effort to be as realistic and calm as possible and it's worked well so far.

I am feeling much stronger physically as each day goes by, so we ventured out for a family brunch yesterday and a bit of shopping too.  

I am wearing: Topshop Western Boots, sass & bide 'rats' leggings, Wish Clothing 'deliberate' vest (see myself living in this one!, Witchery striped knit, Alexander Wang Emile bag

And today we had an amazing baby shoot and A was a pro!  Now to shake this postpartum cold and cough I've caught... not fun!

Meet my Ariana

Yes I was due to report back from LMFF but on Saturday night, our little girl decided it was time to join the real world, throwing things a bit out of whack.

The week had been busy but I had no clue or hint that her arrival was imminent. I had my hospital things in a corner, but I had no idea that I would be packing them so soon. I kept putting it off.

On Friday night, I had an interrupted night sleep after hearing some sad news I couldn't get out of my mind. And on Saturday had a few visitors and made a last minute dash to the shop as I realised I had no baby bath.

By 9pm on Saturday I was ready for bed, with Monty following me suspiciously close. I read a few chapters on my Kindle (which I love) and just after 11pm started to feel some niggles in my lower abdomen. This was unexpected and also exciting. Up until that point, I had had 39 weeks and 6 days of no niggles, no pains and no discomfort. There was no pre labour pain to warn me.

I rang the hospital and they told me to take a couple of panadol and try to get some sleep and call them again at 2am with an update. When 2am rolled around, the pain was still niggling and I was told to make my way in as my waters had broken by the sounds of What i had told them. What were the chances of my waters breaking on my due date, and on the one day that my obs had off?! This little girl was going to be punctual (despite both of her parents being hopeless and always very late).

Prior to my waters breaking on Saturday night, I had been making donuts, so at 2.30am I was in the kitchen disposing frying oil, sorting out the dish washer and hanging up a load of washing I put on before bed and packing my stuff while my husband had a shower. The house being in order was a priority and I breathed through each contraction to get it done.

In my 20's I never in my wildest dreams imagined myself pregnant and giving birth. It was just something I never thought I was capable of doing. I adored children and gushed over babies and was the first to visit my friends and family when they became new mothers. I never wanted to be a 60 year old spinster either, so I guess getting sick in 2011 put things into perspective and nudged me in the right direction. I had a easy and blissful pregnancy. I ran and travelled and worked and was stronger and happier than ever. My skin was clear and my hair glossy. I sure got the good end of the deal.

Fast forward to Sunday morning at 3am on 24 March 2013, driving down Punt Road, past stumbling drunks towards parenthood. I have no idea what we did or talked about during that half hour but I know we were glad not to have to make the drive at the same time as 100,000 others going to the football at the MCG. My husbands biggest fear was peak hour traffic.

We were buzzed straight up and taken to the delivery suite, settling in at 3.30am . I couldn't believe that I was so calm and happy and ready. I even surprised myself.

Unfortunately having not slept much for two nights, I was starting to become delirious by about 8am. I had done 9 hours of labour on no pain killers, my contractions were 3 minutes apart but I was only 2cm dilated. The obs then flew in and properly broke my waters and it was time for the gas. I was skeptical of the gas as I had heard of people feeling sick or it being ineffective but for about two hours it really took the edge off the peaks of my contractions.

12 hours in, the lack of sleep really started to play with my mind. I was barely able to think, let alone breathe and mentally cope with the pain. I do recall wailing at one point, making it clear that I couldn't continue any more. Not the right frame of mind to be in with hours more to go- with the most intense phase of labour still to do.

It was time to get an epidural. Without a doubt the anaesthetist is every woman's hero when she's in labour. I've heard stories of women declaring their undying love. I remember my block kicking in and a warm sensation running down my body and taking away all the pain. Yep I was I'm love with my anaesthetist. At the time I cursed for not having one a lot earlier, but now I'm glad that I felt the full impact of labour and contractions for so long as I'm a stronger person for it. I know what I'm capable of. And it's a lot. Both mentally and physically. After the epi, I had a good two hour sleep and was ready to push at 2.30pm, when my doctor arrived again.

At 3.35pm she entered our lives and changed our world forever. This little girl was a miracle creature we created. She has a full head of hair, big eyes that were open from the beginning and stare at me for hours and the longest eye lashes that everyone remarks on.

B and I are in love with her and each other even more. Nothing can prepare you for the joy after the physical and emotional pain. It's true that it's worth it. It's true you forget. It's true your body is made to do this.

I am so thankful to the doctor for not interfering with my labour or trying to speed it up. They trusted my body and I'm so glad I trusted them. I promise not to gush about nappy changes and feeding schedules.... But it really is all part of the journey and milestones of this new person. Cannot wait to take her home tomorrow.

Thank you all for reading xx

Bee keeper

Despite my best attempts, I have fallen ill over the last few days. Sneezing, boxes of tissues and a red nose were a highlight of my day. Though I did manage a great yoga session before breakfast. Horrible timing but what's a girl to do but load up on sleep and vitamins.

It's been a while since I've loved an edititorial as much as this one from the April 2013 issue of Vogue Australia. Hope you enjoy it as much as I have.  And it's nice to see a ANTM alumni working in the industry.  The Australian franchise seems to have produced some great talent.

LMFF starts tomorrow for me so look out for some posts.

Photos via TFS

"we all want to take our lives in our own hands and hurt them out among the starts" - David Bottoms

It took me a few days last week to adjust to the new routine.  Yes I didn't turn off my Blackberry immediately and yes I kept thinking about what was left behind, but I am starting to ease into it slowly. All the while my body clock was still waking me at 6:52 AM. 

I continued to distract myself by cleaning and ironing and continuously de cluttering. Towels, books and linen have been discarded and not replaced.  Pantry is organised and clean.  I have filed years of bills and paperwork, thrown out a box of cables that don't seem to belong to the myriad of electronic gadgets that we have.  I have dusted every corner and and finally made a good dint in the pile of delicate/handwash items in the washing basket.  I took for granted how good a week at home can really be.  A week not spent in the office, was usually spent travelling or doing activities not afforded to a 60 hour a week job.

This week I'm finally going to organise and functionalise the study (who doesn't love stationary shopping??) and clear my head, before getting into LMFF later on in the week.  The event gets better each year and I'm looking forward to reporting back about this years events. 

New York City Style Exhibition - Sex And The City Visits Chadstone

For the month of March, Chadstone is hosting and exhibiting some beautiful and iconic SATC pieces.  I have read that it was difficult to find most of the items as nobody had any idea where they were stored.  The Dior t-shirt was nowhere to be found.

I must admit that all the pieces are much more amazing on the small screen.  Worn by the much loved characters in amazing locations.  It goes to show that you shouldn't judge an item based on how it looks on a hanger.  If you're a fan of the show, I definitely recommend checking it out.  It's not often that we get items like this to enjoy in Australia.  The stores are starting to fill up with autumn and winter fashions (despite the record heat wave-today it's 38C), use it as a chance to plan your winter wardrobe....?

More info about the exhibit here.

Spring cleaning on a hot autumn day

It has easily been one of the most bitter sweet weeks of my life and thank goodness it's a long weekend because I'm just not ready for a real Monday. I finished at work on Friday. The few weeks leading up to this week involved working way past midnight, feeling anxious and unsure. I have spent years getting to where I was only to close my laptop, turn off my blackberry and walk away. Blood, sweat, tears. High highs and low, low, lows. In a way its kind of sad that our jobs become such a huge part of who we are. We spend so many hours and so much of our energy on what we DO that is starts to blur who we ARE.

I don't think the reality has hit me yet.

And of course all these crazy work hours have resulted in a neglected house. It's amazing just how much cleaning a superficially clean house needs.

I decided to tackle the kitchen today, washing and polishing all the utensils and stuffing the dish washer full with canisters and storage containers. The glass splash back also enjoyed the much needed polish.

The weather has been unbearably hot. And I say that as the person who would kill for an endless summer. Lucky the beach is a stone throw away and I went for a quick swim for a bit of relief today.

Cheat paella for dinner went down a treat.

"The summer night is like a perfection of thought" ~ Wallace Stevens

Maybe it's just me, but does summer seem to pass way too fast; while during winter, I count the slow, cold seconds.  This summer has been immensely enjoyable and the fact that we had some real and proper hot weather may have had something to do with it.  I've continued to purge my life of unnecessary STUFF (yes a common theme in my life over the past 12 months) and have made do with what I've got.  Sure I come across plenty of stuff I love, plenty of stuff I want, but when I think about it for a moment it quickly dawns on me that I don't really NEED it.  I have replaced these thoughts in my mind with great tea, iced coffee, summer fruits and going for a swim at the beach when distraction strikes. 

I had a rare day off on Sunday, where I cancelled all my commitments and appointments and went with the flow.  Sleeping in is a skill that I unfortunately greatly lack, so after forcing myself to stay in bed until 9am, I made a small stack of crispy cremes, filled with orange mascarpone and topped with berries and bananas. So easy and so yummy.  Recipe was posted here.

Following breakfast, I went for a swim at the beach.  I'm not sure I love many things more than floating around in the ocean weightlessly, relaxing on a towel in the shade afterwards and talking to my husband without any distractions from our numerous electronic devices which connect us to the world endlessly.  They are all at home!

 

Since receiving my iPad last month as a very generous gift (thanks daddy) I've tried to move onto reading my favourite publications electronically.  I'm fine with getting my daily news hit via the numerous news outlet apps that I have already acquired, but it may take me a while to enjoy magazines without the smell of fresh print laying on my coffee table.

  

I rounded off my Sunday with a trip to the cinema to see Anna Karenina.  I walked in with zero expectations and walked out having really enjoyed it.  It held it's ground thanks to the amazing costumes and wonderful casting.  I recommend it highly, whether you've read the book or not.

"Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country" ~ Anais Nin

God willing, in about 4 weeks time I am going to be a mother.  If I have learnt anything over the past few months, is that we are all different.  We deal with each mile stone in our lives completely individually.  Some things we're happy to shout from the roof tops and others we are happy to digest on our own terms.  I suppose the onset of parenthood has been one of those times for me.  In the beginning it was my own little thing.  Our own little secret and treasure.  A little miracle and blessing.

I must admit that to date most aspects of it have been relatively easy.  Maybe after the trials and tribulations of the last 10 years, the universe decided that this should be a reward.  Whatever the reasons I am eternally grateful for this experience and for my body and health holding up so well.  Apart from my little brain questioning my strength and abilities.  Ah brain, always the logical one.  I am terrified at the thought of being responsible for a new person, but at the same time excited about teaching someone about life, about kindness and responsibility and the amazing world we live in.  Showing them the way.

Washing and ironing tiny, almost doll sized clothes on a Monday night.. Wow!

Sharing cakes and laughs with friends on a Sunday afternoon.

Shopping out of season

Something I do best!

I seem to be in a perpetual mode of throwing out and selling items in my wardrobe. No matter what I buy, the old stuff is always a favourite. I'm not sure if it's my style that's changing, or the current fashions that I'm not enjoying.  The newly acquired items end up on eBay much faster than the old.  Which means I'm always wearing the same stuff.

Considering the fact that I am about to wave goodbye to my corporate day job for a while (scary story for another day) and be entirely without much disposable income as I give my brain and body a much needed rest after an intense 6 years in the home of repairing the damage, I should probably not be worrying about my wardrobe all that much, but I couldn't help myself with these newbies from Witchery.  Such cute and cosy buys for my upcoming jeans days.

I can't believe how fast summer is passing by.  January, my favourite month, is long gone.  My baby brother is 21.  Traffic is at a standstill again.  February is as busy as ever with social events and I'm desperate for a few more sunny days to spend at the beach. A linger Indian summer is requested... Why is summer always faster than winter...

Linen stripe tee - Witchery

Silk Underlay Knit - Witchery

"Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week" - Joseph Addison Read

It has been too long since I had a carefree day in Melbourne. I didn't feel like death this morning after sleeping in and enjoying a big mug of green tea with the newspapers.

I ventured out into the sunny and warm day and guilt free even reignited my love of Scanlan and Theodore. Just in time for the sale.

It's been too long.

And a big and guilt free dinner of pumpkin, ricotta, spinach ravioli and treats from Lux Bite. Bring on Monday.