Ari love

Some days are even more perfect and wonderful than most. I fall in love with her even more. There's a wave of emotion that hits me. Sometimes I miss her while she's asleep and I go and stare at her in the bassinet. Sometimes I can't believe that she's mine. When she pulls off while feeding to smile at me my heart melts. Sometimes I cry from joy and hug her too tight that she cries too. Life is incredible.

Sunday was one of those perfect days.

She woke up wanting to explode and stare out the window. Tummy time is fun when you're a strong girl.

The nespresso was perfect. It hit the spot perfectly.

The sun was shining so we rugged up and hit the park after being stuck indoors all week.

I finally found a water bottle that doesn't give off a plastic taste. Highly recommend the Klean Kanteen. It even fits into my bottle holder. 

After usually being the bully at the park Monty met his match. She also almost looks just like him.

I am loving the smiles. Wearing Purebaby leggings and a Country Road top.

Starting to show interest in toys.

And I wouldn't be myself if I didn't buy ridiculously inappropriate shoes for my lifestyle. But they were on sale, okay? And they're really, really comfortable.

Swaddle 101

I am no baby expert. I don't think anyone is.  I'm lucky that Ariana is such an easy and content baby who craves a routine.

We typically run a bath at 6pm and feed by 6.30 which results in her being asleep between 7 and 7.30. Depending on how hungry she is. This then gives me the evening to read/write/clean/tidy/cook/iron and so on. All the fun stuff. Not.

I was of the opinion that Ari hated being swaddled. She broke out of every single one within minutes and had her arms up. Arms up resulted in her hitting herself in the face or worse still, kicking the blankets on her face.

About two weeks ago I learnt this new swaddling method and its changed our lives. Ari now almost sleeps through the night, with an occasional feed at 4am and has two solid 2 hour naps. I put it all down to this swaddling method. Please note that I do it tighter, but she was screaming and I was taking photos with one hand so I didn't do a very good job. But you still get the idea. She's wearing a Purebaby zip grosuit and is swaddled with a Purebaby star wrap. I adore Purebaby! 

Line up the swaddle to the top of the shoulders, around the neck. 

Fold down over the arm.

And tuck under the body. The weight of the baby will held stop the arms from waving up.

Bottom of the wrap then goes over the top of the baby.

And is then tucked under the baby again.  Virtually a double swaddle.

I have learnt that babies do not know what they like or what they want. They were tucked snuggly in the belly for 9+ months so recreating that snug feeling will make all the difference in settling them and getting some sleep. Or at least I think it has for me.

Choo choo

How does a girl resist them on sale in her size? How?

The christening cake challenge

What does a very sleep deprived mother of a 9 week old do on a Tuesday night at 9pm?  She attempts to bake a trial christening cake, that's what!  I'm fortunate that A has a great night routine - bath at 1815, feed at 1830 and well and truly out at 1900 so I have the nights to myself. Usually to eat and read and iron and mop and wash my hair and tidy the house.  Phew.

Everywhere I look, people are baking amazing christening/birthday/whatever cakes and I like the idea of having baked the cake myself for the occasion.  I have outsourced pretty much everything else (lunch is at the amazing Quat Quatta and they have gone above and beyond).  Just waiting on the stickers for the favour jars from Etsy and I'm all set.

Anyway, back to the cake. I decided to go for a simple dense, but fluffy vanilla cake using a tried and tested recipe. My oven a little bit strange so a trial was a must.  

I followed all the steps carefully, however I did find that the paddle attachment on my Kenwood still left a lot of chunks of butter which I had to break up with a spatula.  I am also used to sponges for cakes being thick, however this batter was virtually custard.  It was so light and fluffy, but a bit worryingly "thin".

My worries around the consistency were not warranted, as the cakes turned out perfectly.  The bottom did burn a little, but that's because my oven pretty much SUCKS.  I will have to turn it down to 170C and perhaps bake for a few minutes less.  The first cake was perfect, it was the second one that burn a little.  The actual cake will have 3 layers, so I will bake 4 and use the best 3.

Now, I underestimated the amount of white chocolate ganache that would be required.  I bought a 180g block of chocolate and some cream and butter.  I used the block, plus 1/3 cup of cream and 50g of butter.  Melted it and cooled in the fridge for about an hour.  THEN I WHIPPED IT!  Ganache is usually glossy and smooth, but the whipping turned it an incredible fluffy and delicious consistency.

Overall, not too bad.  Will need to do a better job with the icing to create the rough finish and will decorate with fresh flowers.  It's the effort that counts, right?

Love a Friday

Weather wise, this was easily the best summer in Melbourne since I've lived here. We had proper hot days. Even consecutive hot days.

A couple of Fridays ago Ari and I ventured down to Mornington on a warm Friday to have lunch with a friend and her baby.

DOC - the best pizza in Victoria. Actually the best pizza ever.

Damn good pannacota too.

Watching the world go by. Enjoying every moment of being a mum to a wonderful little girl. I love being near the ocean and I can't wait to spend lots of time there with A when summer returns. The ocean calms me and reenergises me.

The following day we spent in Geelong, again enjoying the sunshine and spending time outdoors.

I'm wearing my new uniform - Country Road Moto Jeans, Jeans West top, T&Co necklace.

Sleeping angel Ari says hi xxxx

 

Love, Mum

That's me. 39 weeks and 5 days pregnant, cleaning out my wardrobe.

Even while pregnant I never gave much thought to Mother's Day. I always sent a card and a small gift to my mum because she's the sort of person who really values that. But me, I never gave a hoot about valentines day or birthday gifts. I hated making anything about me.

Usually after the early morning feed, I cuddle with Ari in bed and have another quick sleep until about 8. On Sunday I woke up to her really close to me, breathing gently on my neck. It was magical. A quick scroll through social media made me all foggy, reading everyone's love towards their mother and the hurt and pain of those whose mothers are no longer around. It really hit me that I was somebody's mother, too.

I cried multiple times that day. I hugged my little girl tight (too tight at one point that she cried... Oops). It made me miss my mum and appreciate the sometimes suffocating love that she has for me. I totally get it, even though it drives me mad at times.

In the short 7 weeks that I've been lucky to be her mum, Ari has bought me so much joy. Every day is different and unpredictable. Her innocent smile heals all the physical pain and cures all of my insecurities. She gives me strength and makes me excited for the future that I will hopefully share with her. She makes me want to work harder than ever. She's turned me into an organised morning person.

No gift is greater than my Ari. But the chocolates and the framed picture of the first moment I hugged my girl and looked at her are pretty close. Topped off with a beautifully written card that caused a flood of tears.

And half a glass of champagne.


Happy Mother's Day.

Easter reflections and a recipe

If I thought that time went by quickly before, it's nothing compared to how quickly it goes now. I barely turn around and it's 4pm. But my head is so clear and my priorities are finally right. I've come to terms with getting nothing done and feeling okay about it. Caring and nurturing an infant is a task unto itself.

This bad boy has been decorating my desk for weeks and I finally cracked him open. And ate him in his entirety, immediately.

And that's my little muffin checking things out.

Of course I needed to bake a cake for Easter. One that could be baked with one hand using ingredients already in the fridge and pantry, so I made something up.

- 150g butter at room temperature
- 100g sugar
- generous tablespoon of honey
- 2 eggs
- 180g almond meal
- 1/2 cup flour
- 1/4 cup natural yoghurt
- 1 teaspoon baking powder

An icing would have been lovely, but this way the cake can be popped into a container and enjoyed for a few days with tea or coffee.

Midweek thought

The world is a very different place when you're not on your own routine. When you're not tied to a desk from 0745 until at least 1830.

You can enjoy the warm autumn mid mornings exploding the streets of your neighbourhood in which you've lived for 2.5 years. You can finish a pot of tea without needing to run out the door and without being interrupted by an urgent email flashing on your blackberry. You can read the paper. You can enjoy the beautiful aroma wafting through the house from the slow cooker. You can nap for 15 minutes with your beautiful infant sleeping on your chest.

Each day is different. Each day is new and unknown. Each is rewarding and enriching in its own way. It's a wonderful surprise.

I'm building up my strength and eagerly awaiting my ability to exercise again. I'm looking forward to some serious training like I've never trained before. I'm not entirely sure how I will fit it into ,y day but I will try. 5am sessions in the midst of winter? Maybe.

Hello neighbour.

It breaks my heart to be so far away from my grandmothers, but thanks to Skype Ari got to meet my mums mum on Sunday night. Magic moment.

Mid morning break. Earl grey and banana bread.

Ari is stubborn like her mother and refused to participate in the foot and hand print inking attempt. The foot we could force, but the fists we could not unclench.

What a baby needs

I've washed my hair today, have thrown things into the slow cooker and have even done a load of washing, all before 2pm.  It's a good day.  Most of the time I have no idea what day it is or what time it is because all I want to do is look at this beautiful face.  It's still surreal to think that it's mine and that I can smother it with kisses whenever I want.

Enough to make you melt even when she wants to play at 5am.

Beautiful vegan cake that my mum's friend made

We love leopard print

A gift from T&Co 

Pink ruffle bum and Tiffany blue socks

Whilst outfits are cute cute cute, they're a pain to coax a baby into!

Next Direct kills me with their cuteness.  Lucky these were only $9.

I became a huge anti consumer during pregnancy.  I barely purchased anything for myself, or the baby. Some may ask if I was even happy or excited, and believe me I was, but I preferred to squirrel my money away and spend it on good pregnancy care, healthy food and activities and memories that A can have when she's older, as opposed to a bombardment of equipment that I supposedly NEED when I have no idea what my baby will like and outfits that are impossible to wrestle them into.  ASOS maternity basics were a lifesaver and I had no qualms about throwing them out when I came home from hospital.  I was fortunate that I could pair my regular clothes with their basic skirts and tanks.

My hospital bag was a small backpack that very well edited.  I didn't want to be wrestling bags of stuff and a baby on the scary first drive home.  I felt VERY hot in hospital, as I think most women do.  For my 4 night stay and labour I found the following useful:

- 6 tanks/singlets - changed daily or more due to severe sweating (noone said birth was glamourous) 

- pair of leggings

- pair of yoga pants (so happy I ordered these at Christmas - they're light as air)

- 2 pairs PJ pants

- 4 PJ tops

- lightweight zip up jumper

- 4 pairs of socks

- slippers

- hair ties

- lip balm

- usual toiletries, including an amazing body wash.  Showers are an amazing relief.

- 5 pack of cheap and nasty grandma undies

- favourite snacks, none of which I touched as I couldn't hold anything down. 

Babies themselves don't need a lot in the early days.  Over the past 2.5 weeks, my favourite can't live without items have been the following:

- Purebaby organic cotton zip up growsuits.  5-6 tiny onesies are more than enough in my opinion.  Purebaby washes and wears so well and can be passed onto friends and saved for siblings.  And the warehouse in Collingwood is dirt cheap.

- Purebaby singlets

- 5-6 muslin wraps

- 3 stretchy wraps (I'm all about the Big W ones here)

- endless supply of nappies (my record is 20 nappies in one day).  Huggies are great, but I've found the Aldi to be just as good and they are a third of the price

- terry towel nappies for just about every purpose - lining the cot/pram/change table to save changing linen 3 times a day, having on your shoulder when burping etc

-bamboo face washers - for baths and cleaning dirty morning faces

- wipes - despite the hefty pricetag, I love the Naty wipes - they're Eco friendly, biodegradable and chemical free

- Sudocrem - it seems to heal all skin issues almost instantly

The above photo is the contents of what I carry in my handbag in a small pouch when I'm out with the baby!  I keep it simple.

As for me, when I'm not passed out from exhaustion, I'm loving my iPad mini, Kindle, lip balm, hand cream (I seem to wash my hands 5000 times a day), endless amounts of water and pen and paper to keep track of feeding schedules and nap times!

LMFF goodie bag giveaway

Apologies for the delay in posting this giveaway.

Leave a comment to enter, it's that easy. Receive the entire contents of this image, plus some surprise items. Lots of Kikki K and L'oreal.

Entries close Sunday 14 April at midnight.

Australian addresses only due to flammable liquids, sorry.

Easter long weekend

I hope everyone had a fantastic Easter long weekend, however and wherever you spent it.  I am grateful that Orthodox Easter isn't for another few weeks, as we only came home from hospital on Thursday and the long weekend at home was just what we needed to settle in without a big holiday to celebrate as well.

That's not to say that a little chocolate wasn't enjoyed.  Little A loves her Kinder chocolate, just like mum and dad even though she maybe waiting a while to have a try.

I spent 9 months hating on sugar and chocolate, as it was the only thing that made me feel sick but my appetite for all things sweet as returned with a mighty bang.

My hospital stay was amazing, so much so that I refused the offer to spend the last two nights at the Hyatt.  I loved the attention and invaluable advise offered by the midwives.  I am the sort of person who needed the help with my confidence and abilities and they were excellent in teaching me and reassuring me that I was doing a great job.  And the delicious meals were a bonus too.  That's the sticky date pudding I had for my lunch dessert every day... yum!

A big thank you to all my virtual and "real life" friends who have sent us their well wishes, cards and very generous gifts.. who have come to visit and bought us meals.  We are eternally grateful for having you in our lives.

Sibling nap time

So far, I am finding it a lot more manageable than I thought I would.  I made a conscious effort whilst pregnant not to set any expectations for myself for what motherhood and pregnancy should look like.  I am the queen of overplanning and overanalysing and I didn't want to set myself up for any disappointments.  No baby is  perfect or entirely comparable to another, so I have made an effort to be as realistic and calm as possible and it's worked well so far.

I am feeling much stronger physically as each day goes by, so we ventured out for a family brunch yesterday and a bit of shopping too.  

I am wearing: Topshop Western Boots, sass & bide 'rats' leggings, Wish Clothing 'deliberate' vest (see myself living in this one!, Witchery striped knit, Alexander Wang Emile bag

And today we had an amazing baby shoot and A was a pro!  Now to shake this postpartum cold and cough I've caught... not fun!

Meet my Ariana

Yes I was due to report back from LMFF but on Saturday night, our little girl decided it was time to join the real world, throwing things a bit out of whack.

The week had been busy but I had no clue or hint that her arrival was imminent. I had my hospital things in a corner, but I had no idea that I would be packing them so soon. I kept putting it off.

On Friday night, I had an interrupted night sleep after hearing some sad news I couldn't get out of my mind. And on Saturday had a few visitors and made a last minute dash to the shop as I realised I had no baby bath.

By 9pm on Saturday I was ready for bed, with Monty following me suspiciously close. I read a few chapters on my Kindle (which I love) and just after 11pm started to feel some niggles in my lower abdomen. This was unexpected and also exciting. Up until that point, I had had 39 weeks and 6 days of no niggles, no pains and no discomfort. There was no pre labour pain to warn me.

I rang the hospital and they told me to take a couple of panadol and try to get some sleep and call them again at 2am with an update. When 2am rolled around, the pain was still niggling and I was told to make my way in as my waters had broken by the sounds of What i had told them. What were the chances of my waters breaking on my due date, and on the one day that my obs had off?! This little girl was going to be punctual (despite both of her parents being hopeless and always very late).

Prior to my waters breaking on Saturday night, I had been making donuts, so at 2.30am I was in the kitchen disposing frying oil, sorting out the dish washer and hanging up a load of washing I put on before bed and packing my stuff while my husband had a shower. The house being in order was a priority and I breathed through each contraction to get it done.

In my 20's I never in my wildest dreams imagined myself pregnant and giving birth. It was just something I never thought I was capable of doing. I adored children and gushed over babies and was the first to visit my friends and family when they became new mothers. I never wanted to be a 60 year old spinster either, so I guess getting sick in 2011 put things into perspective and nudged me in the right direction. I had a easy and blissful pregnancy. I ran and travelled and worked and was stronger and happier than ever. My skin was clear and my hair glossy. I sure got the good end of the deal.

Fast forward to Sunday morning at 3am on 24 March 2013, driving down Punt Road, past stumbling drunks towards parenthood. I have no idea what we did or talked about during that half hour but I know we were glad not to have to make the drive at the same time as 100,000 others going to the football at the MCG. My husbands biggest fear was peak hour traffic.

We were buzzed straight up and taken to the delivery suite, settling in at 3.30am . I couldn't believe that I was so calm and happy and ready. I even surprised myself.

Unfortunately having not slept much for two nights, I was starting to become delirious by about 8am. I had done 9 hours of labour on no pain killers, my contractions were 3 minutes apart but I was only 2cm dilated. The obs then flew in and properly broke my waters and it was time for the gas. I was skeptical of the gas as I had heard of people feeling sick or it being ineffective but for about two hours it really took the edge off the peaks of my contractions.

12 hours in, the lack of sleep really started to play with my mind. I was barely able to think, let alone breathe and mentally cope with the pain. I do recall wailing at one point, making it clear that I couldn't continue any more. Not the right frame of mind to be in with hours more to go- with the most intense phase of labour still to do.

It was time to get an epidural. Without a doubt the anaesthetist is every woman's hero when she's in labour. I've heard stories of women declaring their undying love. I remember my block kicking in and a warm sensation running down my body and taking away all the pain. Yep I was I'm love with my anaesthetist. At the time I cursed for not having one a lot earlier, but now I'm glad that I felt the full impact of labour and contractions for so long as I'm a stronger person for it. I know what I'm capable of. And it's a lot. Both mentally and physically. After the epi, I had a good two hour sleep and was ready to push at 2.30pm, when my doctor arrived again.

At 3.35pm she entered our lives and changed our world forever. This little girl was a miracle creature we created. She has a full head of hair, big eyes that were open from the beginning and stare at me for hours and the longest eye lashes that everyone remarks on.

B and I are in love with her and each other even more. Nothing can prepare you for the joy after the physical and emotional pain. It's true that it's worth it. It's true you forget. It's true your body is made to do this.

I am so thankful to the doctor for not interfering with my labour or trying to speed it up. They trusted my body and I'm so glad I trusted them. I promise not to gush about nappy changes and feeding schedules.... But it really is all part of the journey and milestones of this new person. Cannot wait to take her home tomorrow.

Thank you all for reading xx