Turning 30

My Ariana - the best gift of all

If you follow me on instagram and twitter (username is milijana_ on both) you would have seen that I turned 30 about two months ago.  I decided that spending it with my little girl was enough for me.  And I've spent the last 2 months thinking about it.  Who I am and who I want to be.  What have I learnt?  Well a lot.

My whole life changed with the birth of my daughter.  I discovered a love in my heart that I never knew existed.  I discovered selflessness and an urge to protect this beautiful, tiny person who depends on me.  I have changed but I'm still exactly the same. I'm stubborn and headstrong.  I'm a dreamer and a thinker and a planner and a list writer.  I still question myself all the time and I suffer from guilt.  Oh the guilt.  Mothers guilt and daughters guilt and friend guilt.  

My 20's have taught me to save a little bit.  Even $10 from the casual job that earns you $60 a week.  They have taught me to travel.  Seeing new places is the greatest thing that money can buy.  I have learnt that I don't need a lot of STUFF.  To take a chance and make the most of each opportunity that presents itself, as it may not be possible again or any time soon.  Or it may not be appropriate to my life circumstances later.  To look after my health while it's good, not to try to repair it when it's "broken".  To love those who love me.  To be kind to myself, to forgive myself.  To forget.  To not dwell on the past or the mistakes I make.  But to learn.  To continue to teach myself new things and not overthink them.  

To smile.  And be happy.  Life has a way of working itself out.

Me, me and me

I have a mostly hate relationship with my hair. It's typically a dry and brittle, tangled mess that that gets oily quickly. Having it short (collarbone length) proves challenging to style as the kink makes the hair short and thus awkward on my round face. Not to mention that it looks unkept. Unkept is okay at home and on the weekend, but not in a professional setting. I've let it grow, cutting it only twice a year (it grows slow and in my case a trim doesn't make it grow faster). It's been a painful process but its better and longer than its been in years. I've given up products and heat styling tools, too. A double shampoo of Sebastian Trilliance and the same conditioner, good towel dry and a quick dry off with the Parlux results in passable hair (when washed first thing it settles by the afternoon). I do need a fringe trim though.  Stat.

I'd been meaning to go to Stokehouse for dinner for years, literally, but it always seemed so close to home and comfortable. Which is exactly what I needed last week. 

I made it a phone free dinner, but I did take a photo of the incredible dessert. The pumpkin ravioli for entree and the pork belly for main were just as outstanding. It's a wonderful special occasion restaurant.

The Bombe. A Stokehouse classic. Strawberry sorbet, white choc mousse, coated with a meringue.

Birthday thoughts....

 

It's been a year of learning for me.  As I enter the last year of my 20's I am grateful to have had the opportunity to grow up and become an adult.  The life of many I know was cut short, much, much too soon.  But this year has also forced me to slow down a lot.  I simply don't have the energy to live the life I was used to.  I sometimes miss the old pace, but I know that I need my 9-10 hours sleep now and I don't battle against it.  It's been a long 10 months and learning about auto immune disease took me longer than I expected and distressed me more than I would have liked, but the forced changes have got me on the mend.  Maybe I seem a bit selfish now, often saying no, but there is no alternative for me.  I eat a lot of apples, do some light exercise and sleep.  A lot.

And my consumption has truly minimised.  Instead of buying I now sell.  And besides, acid green crop tops hold no appeal to me.  Even my old faithful Scanlan & Theodore isn't what it used to me in my eyes and for my style. 

So the dilemma around what to do with my birthday money started to consume me over the past few weeks.  I wanted to reward myself with something nice, as was my goal at the beginning of the year (to only buy quality items) instead of spending my birthday money on a couple of small things that later down the track disappear.

I'd had my old Fendi wallet since 2008 when I spent an absurd amount of money while trapped at Bangkok airport for 14 hours.  If there's an airport designed to suck every cent out of your bank account (and put a huge dint into your credit card as well) it's certainly Bangkok.

So now I'm a proud owner of a new and much needed wallet.

A review post to follow...