Meet my Ariana

Yes I was due to report back from LMFF but on Saturday night, our little girl decided it was time to join the real world, throwing things a bit out of whack.

The week had been busy but I had no clue or hint that her arrival was imminent. I had my hospital things in a corner, but I had no idea that I would be packing them so soon. I kept putting it off.

On Friday night, I had an interrupted night sleep after hearing some sad news I couldn't get out of my mind. And on Saturday had a few visitors and made a last minute dash to the shop as I realised I had no baby bath.

By 9pm on Saturday I was ready for bed, with Monty following me suspiciously close. I read a few chapters on my Kindle (which I love) and just after 11pm started to feel some niggles in my lower abdomen. This was unexpected and also exciting. Up until that point, I had had 39 weeks and 6 days of no niggles, no pains and no discomfort. There was no pre labour pain to warn me.

I rang the hospital and they told me to take a couple of panadol and try to get some sleep and call them again at 2am with an update. When 2am rolled around, the pain was still niggling and I was told to make my way in as my waters had broken by the sounds of What i had told them. What were the chances of my waters breaking on my due date, and on the one day that my obs had off?! This little girl was going to be punctual (despite both of her parents being hopeless and always very late).

Prior to my waters breaking on Saturday night, I had been making donuts, so at 2.30am I was in the kitchen disposing frying oil, sorting out the dish washer and hanging up a load of washing I put on before bed and packing my stuff while my husband had a shower. The house being in order was a priority and I breathed through each contraction to get it done.

In my 20's I never in my wildest dreams imagined myself pregnant and giving birth. It was just something I never thought I was capable of doing. I adored children and gushed over babies and was the first to visit my friends and family when they became new mothers. I never wanted to be a 60 year old spinster either, so I guess getting sick in 2011 put things into perspective and nudged me in the right direction. I had a easy and blissful pregnancy. I ran and travelled and worked and was stronger and happier than ever. My skin was clear and my hair glossy. I sure got the good end of the deal.

Fast forward to Sunday morning at 3am on 24 March 2013, driving down Punt Road, past stumbling drunks towards parenthood. I have no idea what we did or talked about during that half hour but I know we were glad not to have to make the drive at the same time as 100,000 others going to the football at the MCG. My husbands biggest fear was peak hour traffic.

We were buzzed straight up and taken to the delivery suite, settling in at 3.30am . I couldn't believe that I was so calm and happy and ready. I even surprised myself.

Unfortunately having not slept much for two nights, I was starting to become delirious by about 8am. I had done 9 hours of labour on no pain killers, my contractions were 3 minutes apart but I was only 2cm dilated. The obs then flew in and properly broke my waters and it was time for the gas. I was skeptical of the gas as I had heard of people feeling sick or it being ineffective but for about two hours it really took the edge off the peaks of my contractions.

12 hours in, the lack of sleep really started to play with my mind. I was barely able to think, let alone breathe and mentally cope with the pain. I do recall wailing at one point, making it clear that I couldn't continue any more. Not the right frame of mind to be in with hours more to go- with the most intense phase of labour still to do.

It was time to get an epidural. Without a doubt the anaesthetist is every woman's hero when she's in labour. I've heard stories of women declaring their undying love. I remember my block kicking in and a warm sensation running down my body and taking away all the pain. Yep I was I'm love with my anaesthetist. At the time I cursed for not having one a lot earlier, but now I'm glad that I felt the full impact of labour and contractions for so long as I'm a stronger person for it. I know what I'm capable of. And it's a lot. Both mentally and physically. After the epi, I had a good two hour sleep and was ready to push at 2.30pm, when my doctor arrived again.

At 3.35pm she entered our lives and changed our world forever. This little girl was a miracle creature we created. She has a full head of hair, big eyes that were open from the beginning and stare at me for hours and the longest eye lashes that everyone remarks on.

B and I are in love with her and each other even more. Nothing can prepare you for the joy after the physical and emotional pain. It's true that it's worth it. It's true you forget. It's true your body is made to do this.

I am so thankful to the doctor for not interfering with my labour or trying to speed it up. They trusted my body and I'm so glad I trusted them. I promise not to gush about nappy changes and feeding schedules.... But it really is all part of the journey and milestones of this new person. Cannot wait to take her home tomorrow.

Thank you all for reading xx

Bee keeper

Despite my best attempts, I have fallen ill over the last few days. Sneezing, boxes of tissues and a red nose were a highlight of my day. Though I did manage a great yoga session before breakfast. Horrible timing but what's a girl to do but load up on sleep and vitamins.

It's been a while since I've loved an edititorial as much as this one from the April 2013 issue of Vogue Australia. Hope you enjoy it as much as I have.  And it's nice to see a ANTM alumni working in the industry.  The Australian franchise seems to have produced some great talent.

LMFF starts tomorrow for me so look out for some posts.

Photos via TFS

"we all want to take our lives in our own hands and hurt them out among the starts" - David Bottoms

It took me a few days last week to adjust to the new routine.  Yes I didn't turn off my Blackberry immediately and yes I kept thinking about what was left behind, but I am starting to ease into it slowly. All the while my body clock was still waking me at 6:52 AM. 

I continued to distract myself by cleaning and ironing and continuously de cluttering. Towels, books and linen have been discarded and not replaced.  Pantry is organised and clean.  I have filed years of bills and paperwork, thrown out a box of cables that don't seem to belong to the myriad of electronic gadgets that we have.  I have dusted every corner and and finally made a good dint in the pile of delicate/handwash items in the washing basket.  I took for granted how good a week at home can really be.  A week not spent in the office, was usually spent travelling or doing activities not afforded to a 60 hour a week job.

This week I'm finally going to organise and functionalise the study (who doesn't love stationary shopping??) and clear my head, before getting into LMFF later on in the week.  The event gets better each year and I'm looking forward to reporting back about this years events. 

New York City Style Exhibition - Sex And The City Visits Chadstone

For the month of March, Chadstone is hosting and exhibiting some beautiful and iconic SATC pieces.  I have read that it was difficult to find most of the items as nobody had any idea where they were stored.  The Dior t-shirt was nowhere to be found.

I must admit that all the pieces are much more amazing on the small screen.  Worn by the much loved characters in amazing locations.  It goes to show that you shouldn't judge an item based on how it looks on a hanger.  If you're a fan of the show, I definitely recommend checking it out.  It's not often that we get items like this to enjoy in Australia.  The stores are starting to fill up with autumn and winter fashions (despite the record heat wave-today it's 38C), use it as a chance to plan your winter wardrobe....?

More info about the exhibit here.

Spring cleaning on a hot autumn day

It has easily been one of the most bitter sweet weeks of my life and thank goodness it's a long weekend because I'm just not ready for a real Monday. I finished at work on Friday. The few weeks leading up to this week involved working way past midnight, feeling anxious and unsure. I have spent years getting to where I was only to close my laptop, turn off my blackberry and walk away. Blood, sweat, tears. High highs and low, low, lows. In a way its kind of sad that our jobs become such a huge part of who we are. We spend so many hours and so much of our energy on what we DO that is starts to blur who we ARE.

I don't think the reality has hit me yet.

And of course all these crazy work hours have resulted in a neglected house. It's amazing just how much cleaning a superficially clean house needs.

I decided to tackle the kitchen today, washing and polishing all the utensils and stuffing the dish washer full with canisters and storage containers. The glass splash back also enjoyed the much needed polish.

The weather has been unbearably hot. And I say that as the person who would kill for an endless summer. Lucky the beach is a stone throw away and I went for a quick swim for a bit of relief today.

Cheat paella for dinner went down a treat.