“(24/7) once you sign on to be a mother, that's the only shift they offer.” ― Jodi Picoult

My darling girl, aged 10 months

Today, like every other day I woke up at 0645 to the sounds of a little girl cooing and yelling out for mama from next door.  We had a feed and a cuddle and read some books and cuddled some more and then she was ready to start her day.  B took her and the dog for a walk and I had 40 minutes to read in bed.  Then I made breakfast, cleared the dishes, vacuumed the floor, read some more books to Ari, had a pedicure, made lunch, went out for frozen yoghurt with my girl, wrapped some gifts, went to the beach for a swim and some play in the sand, made dinner, bathed Ariana, put Ariana to sleep, baked a cake, folded some laundry, packed Ariana's daycare bag, packed my own bag for work (removed nappies, wipes and toys from it and added a diary and some almonds), planned an outfit for work, washed my hair.......

Wait.  I had a pedicure??? Yeah.  Ari had a nap and I left her home with daddy.  Miracle.  There was a lot however that I didn't get to do.  I didn't sort out tomorrow's washing and the Sunday newspaper is sitting unread.

So what's the point of this post? I suppose it's to voice my grievances at those "CAN WOMEN HAVE IT ALL?????" articles that appear in the media every 3 weeks or so.  

Tomorrow is my third week back at work since I went on leave in March 2013.  Let me tell you that I started crying in September at the thought of leaving my little baby with someone else while I went to WORK.  She was so tiny and she needed me.  I was due to go back in mid December but I really wasn't ready and was fortunate enough to be able to extend my leave for another 5 weeks.  I had a holiday and came around to the idea.  The night before I cried again thinking about how my girl would cope without me.  But you know, each day she's been better. She's a very social and happy child by nature and enjoys the company of her new friends and loves the new toys and activities she can do at daycare that she can't do with me.  The long run benefits far outweigh the negatives for our family.

Now, how about women having it all.  Each of us is different and we have different priorities and opinions and life circumstances but I will admit one thing.  I can't have it all.  Not to the standard that I would normally devote to my commitments.  I can't give my career 100% right now and at the same time give my daughter 100%.  And see my friends and spend time with my family and cook and bake and sleep for a few hours a night.    Not right now.  That's why I'm working 3 days a week for the time being.  Time with my daughter wins.