Beach review

Banana, berries, coconut water, chia seeds.  REPEAT.

Burleigh Heads beach

Noosa beach

Zimmermann 'Lucia' embroidered playsuit, now on SALEEEE

Spinning on the balcony until she's dizzy 

I love that the new year break coincides with summer.  After the manic lead up it's nice to spend time with family, reflect on the year that was (for me it was a significant year in my career, that I've worked so hard towards).  2016 will demand even more of it.  It's lovely to regroup by the ocean, swim, hike, write lots of lists (including recipes and meal plans for the inevitable and dreaded return to work and reality), reassess my goals and development areas and soak in every second with my baby girl.

I'm hoping to do just a little bit more in 2016

• be a little bit more active.
• plan and in return eat better.
• visit some new places.
• learn and study. READ.
• I am also doing a major home refurbishment and declutter this year.  Replacing linen and some furniture.  I've been inspired after reading the KonMari decluttering book and have signed up to the Apartment Therapy January Cure project which I will begin when I get back home.  When all the corporate day job and parenting is done and Friday night arrives I collapse in a heap.  As KonMari says, the less stuff you have, the less you have to put away.  True!
• keep on top of my emails/unsubscribe from some MORE mailing lists.
• wake up a little earlier to tackle the menial tasks. I'm exhausted by nights end and things are often left to hang over my head and cause me to wake up at 3am in a panic
• be a bit more patient.  Holidaying in a small place when living in a big place shows me just how rushed I always am.  
• put away the phone, yeah!
• let go of the guilt that I am not enough.  Enough of a parent, friend, colleague, cook.  Nobody can be all things to all people.
• be present in the moment a little bit more.

Wishing you all a year filled with kindness, adventure and happy memories. 

What's up?

I absolutely love this quote.  Saying NO has become a massive part of me the last few years.  I was always striving for more, taking on just a little bit too much.  Over exerting myself.  Pushing, pushing, pushing.  Until I really took a beating on all levels and decided to scale down.  It was a slow journey to no, but saying no doesn't feel me with guilt anymore.

This year seems to have really got away from me.  I didn't have much planned, except to survive.  Survive whatever challenges life threw at me. And there has been many.  Many surprises and learnings.   I have needed to make adjustments and roll with the punches.  Seems to be the way for me, always changing, always growing.  My health has unfortunately really taken a beating.  My immune system has deserted me and I am desperately trying to claw my way back.  It's hard to do much when you feel unwell but it makes you appreciate what you're capable of when you're well.  When I'm at work, I give it 100%.  When I'm with Ariana she gets all of me.  And I always endevour to make an effort and get dressed in the morning and make the bed.  Even if everything else about my day is a disaster.

I slow down and then I start back up again.  I am just about to commence a bathroom renovation that has been almost 4 years in the making.  I am in tile and tapware hell.  The more pinterest photos I click through and the more I shop around the more confused I become.  I've changed my mind on a weekly and daily basis.  There are just too many shades of white.  A high end and sleek bathroom on a shoestring budget - that's always a fun one.  I can't wait to share the process and my vision with you all!  I think I am finally ready.  The floor tiles have painstakingly been picked out and the tapware has been ordered from Germany.  

“(24/7) once you sign on to be a mother, that's the only shift they offer.” ― Jodi Picoult

My darling girl, aged 10 months

Today, like every other day I woke up at 0645 to the sounds of a little girl cooing and yelling out for mama from next door.  We had a feed and a cuddle and read some books and cuddled some more and then she was ready to start her day.  B took her and the dog for a walk and I had 40 minutes to read in bed.  Then I made breakfast, cleared the dishes, vacuumed the floor, read some more books to Ari, had a pedicure, made lunch, went out for frozen yoghurt with my girl, wrapped some gifts, went to the beach for a swim and some play in the sand, made dinner, bathed Ariana, put Ariana to sleep, baked a cake, folded some laundry, packed Ariana's daycare bag, packed my own bag for work (removed nappies, wipes and toys from it and added a diary and some almonds), planned an outfit for work, washed my hair.......

Wait.  I had a pedicure??? Yeah.  Ari had a nap and I left her home with daddy.  Miracle.  There was a lot however that I didn't get to do.  I didn't sort out tomorrow's washing and the Sunday newspaper is sitting unread.

So what's the point of this post? I suppose it's to voice my grievances at those "CAN WOMEN HAVE IT ALL?????" articles that appear in the media every 3 weeks or so.  

Tomorrow is my third week back at work since I went on leave in March 2013.  Let me tell you that I started crying in September at the thought of leaving my little baby with someone else while I went to WORK.  She was so tiny and she needed me.  I was due to go back in mid December but I really wasn't ready and was fortunate enough to be able to extend my leave for another 5 weeks.  I had a holiday and came around to the idea.  The night before I cried again thinking about how my girl would cope without me.  But you know, each day she's been better. She's a very social and happy child by nature and enjoys the company of her new friends and loves the new toys and activities she can do at daycare that she can't do with me.  The long run benefits far outweigh the negatives for our family.

Now, how about women having it all.  Each of us is different and we have different priorities and opinions and life circumstances but I will admit one thing.  I can't have it all.  Not to the standard that I would normally devote to my commitments.  I can't give my career 100% right now and at the same time give my daughter 100%.  And see my friends and spend time with my family and cook and bake and sleep for a few hours a night.    Not right now.  That's why I'm working 3 days a week for the time being.  Time with my daughter wins.

House detox

Image via Tumblr

Am I the only one who's really conscious about chemicals and radiation in the house?  We surround ourselves with so many pollutants and toxic chemicals.  And what about all the beeping devices?  Chargers and computers and phones.  We often have 3-4 laptops and 4 phones between 2 people?  Wow.  I don't use a microwave.  I don't charge my phone where I sleep.  I don't use electric blankets or baby monitors.  I have started to use cloth nappies part time now and swear by cleaning the baby with a wash cloth and water.  She's not THAT dirty is she?  I try to do one or two thorough cleans with the chemically stuff during the year and in between that maintain it with natural products.  If you clean regularly you don't need antibacterial wipes and bleach do you?  Use up the products that you have and perhaps reconsider.

My favourite things to start with

• Microfibre cloths are magic.  For dusting and especially cleaning the bathroom and kitchen.  I even exfoliate my face with a microfibre face washer.  I mop the floor is water and a microfibre cloth.
• Plastic containers?  Nope.  I try and store everything in glass containers.  Can easily recycle old jars as well.  
• Vinegar and baking soda.  And a bit of lemon.  Pretty good cleaner.

There's less than a week to go until holidays.  There's still too much to do.  But I'm getting there.  Slowly.  Slowly.

Mid life (fashion) crisis

Witchery Lace Peplum top

I don't know if it's the fact that I'm itching so dangerously close to turning 30 but I'm finding clothes and shopping to be a complete drag.  Everything that's being thrown at me has no appeal or is horrendously overpriced that all I can do is shake my head.  I overanalyse absolutely every purchase, even mulling over a $19 singlet from Sportsgirl that I know is NEEDED to layer to make an outfit work.  I spent two hours yesterday wandering around the mall yesterday only to walk out empty handed, when I knew I desperately needed things to wear over summer.  The Net-a-Porter free shipping code also rendered my cart empty.

Is anyone else feeling the same, or have you had a similar experience?

Of course all is not lost.  I am squirreling away some money and focusing on Christmas presents for loved ones.  It's not all doom and gloom.

Home truths

Nothing like your own bed

Moo cow

Bedroom window view - hello baby cactus and mint plant

This year, my bedroom has become my sanctuary.  For someone who functioned on very little to no sleep, I am asleep by 9pm most nights. 

I don't know how I lived comfortably in a one bedroom flat for 4 years, yet since moving into our house last year (which is more than 3 times the size of the flat) everything has been overflowing.  I've lost count of the clothes, shoes, furniture that's been sold on eBay or thrown out, yet every couple of weeks it becomes obvious that even more has to go.  The bedroom has been the biggest victim benefactor of my ruthless culling.  Half of my clothes are gone.  9/10 hair and skin products have been turfed. Now every piece of my highly edited wardrobe has it's space (let me tell you, outfits are on high rotation) and the top draw of the tall boy is a mecca of only the best and favourite products.  

I've unsubscribed from most of the daily deal websites now (too much junk being marketed as a bargain) but not before I bought the most wonderful 1000 count thread quilt cover set for $37.  They are simply divine and so easy to keep clean (maybe the Omo Ultimate & NapiSan has something to do with it???)

Crisp white sheets, clean pajamas and a good night sleep are hard to beat for me these days.  And it's true what they say - make your bed every morning, because even if you accomplish nothing today, walking into your bedroom and seeing the bed made will make you feel calmer... because even if all else has failed at least you had made the bed.

The guest bedroom has also been receiving plenty of attention (correction, ruthless throwing out of everything in sight).  It is the multifunctional genius.  Or at least it will be by the time I finish with it this summer.

Speaking of summer, any chance I can put away the tights yet???

Birthday thoughts....

 

It's been a year of learning for me.  As I enter the last year of my 20's I am grateful to have had the opportunity to grow up and become an adult.  The life of many I know was cut short, much, much too soon.  But this year has also forced me to slow down a lot.  I simply don't have the energy to live the life I was used to.  I sometimes miss the old pace, but I know that I need my 9-10 hours sleep now and I don't battle against it.  It's been a long 10 months and learning about auto immune disease took me longer than I expected and distressed me more than I would have liked, but the forced changes have got me on the mend.  Maybe I seem a bit selfish now, often saying no, but there is no alternative for me.  I eat a lot of apples, do some light exercise and sleep.  A lot.

And my consumption has truly minimised.  Instead of buying I now sell.  And besides, acid green crop tops hold no appeal to me.  Even my old faithful Scanlan & Theodore isn't what it used to me in my eyes and for my style. 

So the dilemma around what to do with my birthday money started to consume me over the past few weeks.  I wanted to reward myself with something nice, as was my goal at the beginning of the year (to only buy quality items) instead of spending my birthday money on a couple of small things that later down the track disappear.

I'd had my old Fendi wallet since 2008 when I spent an absurd amount of money while trapped at Bangkok airport for 14 hours.  If there's an airport designed to suck every cent out of your bank account (and put a huge dint into your credit card as well) it's certainly Bangkok.

So now I'm a proud owner of a new and much needed wallet.

A review post to follow...  

"Minimalism is not a lack of something. It’s simply the perfect amount of something." - Nicholas Burroughs

 

Image via tumblr http://sheworeitwell.tumblr.com

What is it about life?  It’s a ride.  A big, long, scary, unpredictable ride.  It challenges me every day.  Every hour.  I’m not any closer to figuring life out.  Just as I get cosy and think I’ve caught a break, a new test is just around the corner. 

Over the past 12 months I’ve been working on this thing, this thing I really believe in.  It’s called minimalism.  The notion that having more doesn’t mean you have more.  Or even have enough.  That having more in fact burdens us further.  Burdens the soul, burdens the financial position we’re in, burdens the hangers in our wardrobes holding up all the stuff, burdens the shelves in our homes, burdens the dividers in the tax folder and burdens our planet.  So why is it that we all have the same number of hours in our day and the same number of days in our year, yet some of us accomplish a lot more than others?

I think it’s all to do with simplifying and with planning.  Allocating time to the things we truly believe in and the things that make us happy and then fitting in the rest.  If I have pilates on a Wednesday night, hell how about I don’t commit to something else.   I’m doing my best to say no to the things that are not important to me.

I’m also decluttering my home.  I do this constantly.  Sometimes with no great success.  It’s been a LONG and really hard process.  I harbour old magazines, clothes that I don’t wear but that hold some sort of sentimental value.  Kitchen gadgets that are broken were also festering in the back of the pantry.  I made a conscious decision not to buy a big home as I wanted to live simply, so why am I holding onto all this stuff?  I’ve documented the eBay sales well on here.  I’ve also let go of a heap of magazines (with 10 more heaps to go).  I figure if I write it all down and tell the world, I will hold myself accountable?   

Next up is the make up draw.  Teaming with samples and near new products that I add to, but never seem to subtract from.  The mid year sales are creeping up on us (how is it June already?????) and the sale emails are coming in thick and fast.  Do I need anything?  Of course not.  Why not put what I would spend on a new top that I don’t really need towards a helicopter ride on my trip next month.  I’m sure I’ll remember the experiences on a holiday long after I forget a top I didn’t buy.  There are some wonderful exhibits coming to town, lots of theatre and ballets and operas I want to see.  Experiences that will enrich my mind but not fill up my home.   That’s what it all should be about.