I'm up way past my bedtime waiting for my new
dry clean only dress to finish on the gentle cycle in the washing machine (taking it to the dry cleaner is far too inconvenient) because my toddler did something to it. I'll spare you the details. Her outfit had to be thrown out so I hope my pretty new dress doesn't suffer the same fate.
I've been largely offline in every aspect of my life, again struck down by some ugly early winter virus and I'm hoping a second bout of antibiotics can kick it to the curb. It's been a horrible 3.5 weeks of feeling like death and in turn being an angry, angry person to boot. I can barely breathe, let alone eat and function.
The past few months I've been doing a lot of soul searching and asking myself "what next"? What next in every single aspect of my life. I don't have an answer to any part just yet but one way I'm trying to figure it out is to watch plenty of Ted talks (ha!) and live in the moment. Give each moment in my day and week and month its full undivided attention. When I'm at work, I'm working. I'm not on Twitter or browsing Shopbop or reading the news. When I'm at the park I'm pushing the toddler on the swing and enjoying her expressions and excitement and trying really, really hard not to worry about my work email inbox imploding. When I'm eating a chocolate I'm trying to enjoy the awesomeness that is cocoa and sugar instead of feeling guilty. When I'm at the gym, even if I only have 45 minutes, I'm giving it my all.
I must admit that I don't find parenthood "hard". some aspects are REALLY difficult (enter the whinging and looking) but overall it's pretty darn good. What I do find hard is everything else. I find it hard to allocate time to washing my hair and often my friends and family must think I've been abducted by aliens because I never get around to returning a text or email. Forget about seeing them. I worry that I don't give enough at work because I have to leave at 5pm. I worry that a toasted cheese sandwich isn't considered a decent enough dinner for a Monday night.
But then I snap out of it and try to live in the moment, because in 50 years time none of those things will matter.
I suffered a lot in the first year of parenthood and I recently came across this article that I implore all new parents to read. To read and to be kind to themselves.
|Dirty hair calls for dry shampoo and curls.|
|Witchery coatigan, Country Road tee, J Brand jeans|
|Burger Tuesday at Ripponlea Food & Wine|
|Pancake Sunday at Drugstore Espresso|